Nothing like relaxing with a drink and a good book after a long day at work. #maturity #adulthood #grownup
Whenever somebody spells “laser” with a “z,” I’m immediately transported back to a world of neon, fishnet-over-spandex, and fingerless gloves. It’s a land where guys named “Ozone” get so funky fresh that they wind up breakdancing against the laws of gravity itself. It’s a world where Coke changes its flavor, then changes it back, all while everyone wonders who shot some guy named JR. It’s a place where cartoon characters’ lips keep moving for two seconds after they’ve finished talking. It’s a magical realm, when you heard urban legends about some kid using a Generation-1 Megatron to stick up a 7-Eleven.
oh it’s nothing, just some contract for a thing I wrote
If anyone deserves this, it’s Mitch.
Every day grocery companies make the decision to take beloved products off the shelf, replacing them with inferior items. The tastes of your childhood blah blah blah I’m just trying to make sure this has enough text to fill out a Facebook preview box.
"Okay, guys. We’re out of the box and assembled. Now what?"
"Let’s say this Twinkie represents the average… Oh. I see we’re doomed."
"Back off, guys. I’ve earned this."
Sometimes you forget you own a thing, and then you’re going through your old stuff at your parents’ house, and you remember you own the thing. Then you take it back to your apartment and get all happy about owning that thing. This is one of those things. The jacket is a bit stained, but the record is in great condition and plays flawlessly. And before anyone asks, no. It ain’t for sale.